DECATUR — Dan Sigmon has difficulty recalling events from two weeks ago. “But 20 years ago, I can remember,” he said.
People suffering from memory loss find such experiences common, and Sigmon, 71, attends Memory Cafe, a social gathering for caregivers and patients with memory loss at Life Builders Church of God.
The social group allows people to reminisce about their past and share stories that provide comfort to each other.
“We have refreshments and we talk,” said facilitator Diane Sergant. “It is a guided conversation.”
Each month has a different topic. The conversations vary about the guests’ childhood, teenage years, early adulthood or anything from their past. Topics have included the holidays, schooldays, playtime as a child and weddings.
“In June, we had a long conversation about patriotism and Flag Day,” Sergant said. “It is interesting getting the perspective of patriotism from older people.”
According the Mayo Clinic, some degree of memory problems, as well as a modest decline in other thinking skills, is a fairly common part of aging. There's a difference, however, between normal changes in memory and memory loss associated with injury or Alzheimer's disease and related disorders. Some memory problems are the result of treatable conditions.
People who suffer from some degree of memory loss may struggle to remembering events, words and reactions from only minutes ago. However, some can recall and often converse well about things they did as a child.
“They are older memories, and they are able to recall them longer,” Sergant said.
The discussions not only bring back interesting memories, they also help others learn how to communicate with those suffering memory loss. Caregivers observe how to speak to their loved ones in the social setting.
“They get ideas on what to talk about when they get home,” Sergant said.
Since she began attending Memory Cafe, Judy Carr has learned different ways of questioning and responding to people who suffer from memory loss. Simple and non-confrontational words work best, she said.
“You don’t say, ‘You remember that’,” she said about trying to help someone recall a memory.
The group began meeting at the church a year ago. Judy Carr and her husband, Lyle, have attended the meetings since the start. Alzheimer’s disease runs in their families, and each has lost a sister to the disease.
“I wanted to be here to help someone else,” Judy Carr said.
Sergant’s background leading informal meetings such as Memory Cafe comes from her own experiences with family members as well as from her career as an associate pastor at Life Builders Church of God. She has led similar groups throughout her career.
“I knew it was a need in the community,” she said. “That is a need I can handle.”
Sigmon has suffered brain damage that has affected his memory. Following a surgery two years ago, he developed sepsis, a complication from an infection, his wife, Kathy, said. Since then, he has had other medical problems as well as short-term memory loss, he said. Her husband also suffered a football head injury more than 50 years ago, she said.
“The doctors said some of the older scarring (of brain tissue) could be from that,” Kathy Sigmon said.
The couple attends the meetings each month, and Kathy Sigmon said the meetings give her a better understanding of short-term memory issues and helping.
“We play a game at home to see how much he remembers,” she said. “That’s not homework, though.”
Several factors can produce memory loss. According to the Mayo Clinic: patients can struggle to recall memories because of brain injuries and illnesses, medications, alcoholism, vitamin deficiencies, emotional disorders or disease. Some of those are treatable.
“We aren’t here diagnosing. We aren’t even a support group,” Sergant said. “We’re just a social event.”
But guests have found support here. Jack Cunningham, 61, said he wants to get a jump on a hereditary mental illness.
Dementia runs in his family, and Cunningham said he remembers the struggles his grandmother had as she suffered from dementia. She couldn’t remember him, or her only daughter, but she did remember her husband.
“It was interesting how the mind drops from the here and now,” he said.
Cunningham said he has attended two meetings, not sure what to expect during his first visit.
“I came to get ideas and a better understanding of them. I thought it would discuss more how to deal with things," he said. "It was more of reminiscing, but I had a ball.”
Memory Cafe began as an extension of “Macon Memories” Memory Cafe, which began two years ago. The original group disbanded after its leader retired.
“When we started, they were still functioning,” Sergant said.
The two groups were on different schedules, and Sergant said she chose separate meeting times because she found people function better at different times of the day.
“And anytime you add an illness or a disability, people are going to have one part of the day better than the other,” she said.
Memory Cafe began its most recent meeting by thumbing through a 1950s women’s magazine. The advertisements and articles included decorating ideas, gift exchanges, washing machines, foods and automobiles. The magazine generated stories and memories from each guest.
“The Studebaker was ahead of its time,” Dan Sigmon said.
The memories are sometimes different for others.
“I never liked them,” Lyle Carr said of the Studebaker.
